Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Whoa, where did the time go?

So it turns out that I kind of stopped writing when I started working again. Is there a correlation there? Not sure.

The new job is going pretty well. Nice folks, pretty easy work environment and the best part is that I can leave the job at work when I leave. Best of all, I've had time to write a few things down. Here are some random things that I've jotted down over the last few weeks:

Actually...
If you begin more than one sentence a day with "Actually", you are very annoying. Please stop doing that. Your attempt to enlighten those around you is unwelcome and irritating.

I used to do it, then I heard how it sounds. I've been making an effort to stop, and I know it isn't easy. My method? Every time I'm about to say it, I imagine finishing "Actually, I'm a douche bag." It helps.

2. You know how everyone in the office has their "thing". You know, the thing that they're known for? Like the Guy That Likes to Party, or the Woman Who Smokes Too Much? Your something to somebody else, so you should try to make sure your thing isn't being an ass. Here's how to tell if people think you're an ass at work: If you think that the people you work with are generally a bunch of asses, surprise! You may be that guy driving the wrong way on a one way street complaining that nobody is yielding to you.

3. "You can't punish everyone for the actions of one person." Not true. Try growing a Hitler mustache and see how far you get. Imagine that... being the guy that ruins an entire hair style.