Wednesday, September 5, 2012

...And That's How I Knew I Was Dreaming

The other night, I had one of those moments where you realize that you're dreaming while you're dreaming.

I was back in high school.  No, that's not what tipped me off.  I was back in high school, only it wasn't the high school that I went to, it was some sort of strange conglomeration of different schools that I'd been to, up to and including university.

Then there was this gang of bullies.  I knew they were bullies, you could tell just looking at them that these were a group of teenagers that were bent on just making things difficult for those around them.  Some of them had leather jackets, some of them had golf shirts with popped collars, some of them were jocks, some of them were those guys that hung out in the smoking area that you had to be 19 to get into but were still in grade 9.  Basically, a cross section of stereotypical people that have made me wish I had stuck with those karate lessons I started in my imagination when I was six.  A group of people that separately would make sense, but couldn't exist together.  This, too, did not tip me off that I was dreaming.

Then something bad started happening.  Someone, or something, was picking off the gang of bullies one by one.  Every time they'd come by, there'd be one fewer of them and the remaining ones were beginning to look more and more stressed out.  They started acting out more, trying to seem tougher than they really were, while at the same time they were scared out of their minds that one of the people that they were picking on was actually the person that was...well, I can't say for sure that they were being killed, but they were definitely being removed.  Still, made perfect dream logic to me, so this was okay as well.

It got pretty cool after it came to light that the bullies were disappearing because that's when Willow showed up.  You know, Willow.  The character from Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.  She was there to investigate what was happening and, I imagine, report back to Buffy as to what kind of evil it was that was plaguing us.  She was pretty cool, but distracted, which was understandable because she was rather busy trying to pick up clues and detect who the culprit (or culprits! Dah dah DAAAAAH) was.  Were.  Was/were.  And that didn't do the trick either.  It made total sense for Willow to be here.  I mean, Buffy would be off fighting, I don't know, the main bad guy or something.  I think I was happy that we got Willow and not the slightly more goofy if not much less effective Xander to help us out.

It was around this point that one of the popped collar golf shirt bullies had had enough.  He jumped up on the pool table (did I mention there was a pool table in the hallway/classroom that I was standing in?) and challenged the mysterious entity that was hunting them down to come out and face him.  He was pretty ripped, he had these huge muscles and stuff, so I was pretty sure that there was no way that he was going to survive this.  The fact that I was seeing him do this from his perspective?  No dream clues there.  I always inhabit other people's bodies during times of intense anger and/or frustration.  Or at least I did here.  Apparently.

Suddenly, he was knocked to the floor by a mysterious rush of shadows and air.  He got up and there was a flurry of arms and legs and dodging and bobbing and weaving with this shadowy creature thing.  The creature thing - yes, just your every day run of the mill creature thing that happens so often that you don't even think twice about it not possibly being real - kept coming at him, but you had to give it to that douchebag bully, he was fighting back.  For some reason, maybe it sensed defeat or maybe it was just playing with its food, it disappeared.  One moment it was there, the next it was gone.  Disappearing monsters?  Nope, still happily ignorant of my dream state.

The bully was out of breath, but pretty stoked about having beaten the monster.  He was flexing his muscles and bragging about how awesome a fight it was, and that we didn't need Willow here because he'd beaten the monster.  Then he leaned over to me and whispered "Do you know why I could beat the monster?"  And then he stood up straight and started flexing his overly-muscled arms and shouted "Because I used Aikido-lasers!  That's right!  I had my arms shot with Aikido-lasers, so that's why I'm so great at it!  Go Aikido-lasers!"

Aikido.  Lasers.

AAaaaaannd that's when I realised I was in a dream.

Aikido lasers.  Come on.  That's just ridiculous.  Who's would believe that?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.