Tuesday, March 25, 2014

I am still not a smart Man sometimes

so these new phones that we bought are pretty nifty. My Phone even Comes with a pen se I can write instead of typing the handwriting analysis is pretty decent considering that I have horrible hand writing .
In Case yon were wonder: ing, no dhis is nota typo . This is how a computer interprets my handwriting. Iam making a point potty back to correct any mistakes I am curious to see how this turns omt.
My prediction : It will turnout poorly .
so how about that impending snowstorm ch? It , s the beginning of spring and I have to spend itplanning for being Duk amide fn s''

It appears that the analyser is taking a little break,

Oh, and n case you win wondering about the title , th phones came win screen protectors,and't was onlyyesterday1almost amonth since wegofthemthat I noticedthat I had not putmine on correctly,,,turns at the screenbooks a Lot betterwhen you removethe park of theprotector tataren't supposedto stay on,
DERP

Yeah, this linksabout what Ithought it would,neat,, but notreally readableOL l
Ormy handwritingis gory to improvedramaticallyinthernext littlewhile,. or Maybe longer,

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Another one of those days

Yesterday was one of those early mornings. The sensor in RG's Crib went off at around 4, and there wasn't much sleep after that. A lot of coffee later, the day was over and I could look forward to some sleep.

At 3 this morning, the smoke detector went off. Nothing to be concerned about, everyone is fine. But I swear that the is an internal clock on that thing so it knows when to let you know that the battery is getting low.

Not out, just low.

Sort of like how your cell phone will start to vibrate to let you know that it's running low on power, this draining the battery that much faster. Except the smoke detector waits until everyone is sleeping before playing us all the songs of his people.

For a piece of equipment that saves as many lives as it does, smoke detectors are not well liked.

My Lovely Wife got up to change the battery, which really tells you a lot about why I love her so much. After thirty minutes of bumping and clumping and beeping, I got up.

My dear reader, it shames me to say it, but I was not the gentlest soul I could have been. Eventually, replacement batteries were found (the remote control and an electric razor), and additional batteries were placed in the charger. The rest of the reasons why I love her so much can be summarized in the simple act of her letting me sleep in the bed when all was said and done. And yes, apologies were offered and accepted.

And not one peep from RG.  I can attest to this as I didn't get back to sleep until almost 5. She didn't stir, didn't cry, didn't care one bit. She's pretty awesome.

By 5, I had exhausted all of the arguments from my childhood that I could have won if only I had been a little more clever at the time, and managed to get back to a sort a sort of sleep.

Which ended at 5:58 when the smoke detector decided that the replacement batteries weren't filling enough and needed to let us all know. Immediately.

I got up this time and made it as happy a as I could (by taking it down and wrenching the batteries or if it - totally satisfying). And RG slept through that too!

So now, here I sit with a sleeping baby in my arms that I need to put to bed, but I just need a few more minutes of the softest cuddles ever set to the tone of the greatest breathing I've ever heard.

Good night. ;-)

Monday, February 24, 2014

Really, this is just awkward for both of us

It was just before we sat down for supper tonight that there was a knock at the door.

I can say it was before we sat down because we almost always sit down to eat.  Mostly it is on the couch while we watch TV, but it counts.

And before there was a knock at the door, there was a car that pulled up in front of the house and two earnest young men walking up the driveway.

I was sitting on the couch (I don't need to have supper to sit on the couch, they are not mutually dependent events) with RG on my lap.  We were playing a game where I was making funny faces and noises and she would make noises and faces that I would try to interpret as "That's funny!" or "Why can't you be awesome like Mommy?" or "Why haven't you changed me/fed me in the last twenty minutes?" or some combination thereof.

I saw the earnest young men walking up the driveway and my first thought was "Ugh, now I have to stand up."  Standing up would involve interrupting the game, and I think I was winning.  Or at least I wasn't losing any worse than usual.  Anyway, I called out to My Lovely Wife (who was preparing supper) "We have visitors that I don't know who they are!"  I considered letting her answer the door while I stayed put with RG, but then I had a thought.

I have the perfect "I can't talk right now" excuse in my arms!  She's the ultimate trump card, at least at this age.  So I pulled myself off the couch and, baby snuggled into an appropriately jumbled mess of a blanket, I answered the door.

Earnest young man one, who I will call Ernest, looked at me in a sort of mild kind of surprise.

"Hello," I said.

"Hi.  We're youth volunteers... and we're looking for, uh, Korean people that we might be able to talk with."  Said Ernest.  His fellow volunteer, who I shall also call Ernest, stood behind him and silently supported Ernest by not saying anything at all.

"Okay,"  I said.

Ernest looked at me and at my baby and said "Um, we're looking to talk with them in their own language."

"I'm not Korean," I said.

"Well," Ernest said, looking back at his friend Ernest, who I now realize you may have gotten them mixed up on account of their names being the same, but I can't go and change their names now. Besides the fact that I have already committed to the joke, I can't remember distinguishing feature of either of them other than there was an Ernest at the door and an Ernest behind him, and calling them Front Ernest and Back Ernest seems odd.  But I digress.

"Well," Ernest said, looking back at his friend Ernest and then back at me when salvation utterly failed to appear.  "Obviously no."

I started to reply but my brain caught on "Obviously no."  I mean, come on, I could be Korean.  Not all Koreans look alike.  I don't think anyway.  I don't know that many Koreans.  Or maybe I do, and none of them have told me they're Korean.

I was pulled out of this train of thought when Ernest asked me:  "Are there any...Koreans...here?"

"No, I'm sorry."

Ernest and Ernest looked at each other again.

I had a thought.  If they had just looked in a phone book, they would have seen my last name and assumed we were Korean, as Cho is also a Korean name.  So I offered up an escape for them and said "You've got the right name, but the wrong house."

Ernest looked at Ernest again and said "Yes, sometimes people direct us to homes that they think there might..."  He sort of trailed off as I assumed his brain started to catch up with what he was saying and tell him that there wasn't really a good way of ending the sentence in a way that wasn't going to come across more racist than it had started out.

"Yes, I'm sure.  Sorry guys."  I said.

Ernest realized he was holding a pamphlet at this point and I could see him thinking about giving it to me anyway before putting it back in his coat pocket.  "Sorry to bother you," they said as they walked back to their car.

I felt bad for them.  I mean, here they are, tasked with going out and gathering as many Koreans together as they can, and no good way of doing it.  I guess they could have tried one of the many Chinese restaurants in town.  It's basically the same thing, right?

Friday, February 21, 2014

Home Alone, Re-Continued

Day 6 - Friday

Joke's on you Friday!  I'm babysitting, so I'm not at home being all alone and mopey.

Of course, I started watching a really scary movie, because that's what you do when you babysit, right?  And I'm an adult, so I can totally handle it, right?  Right?  

So the fact that I'm taking a few moments to pause the movie while I write this is just because I want to write this, not because there was a scary noise and then I saw someone outside under the streetlight (who was just waiting for his dog to finish his business, but he could have been casing the joint).  The noise wasn't that scary. It was just the furnace kicking in.  It's just a different furnace than the one that I'm used to so it makes different noises.

All right, I've changed movies.  Not because that movie was too scary or anything like that. It just didn't seem like it was going to be a movie that I was going to enjoy that much.  I've started another movie that seems to be a little better.  It's called You're Next and it gets a 74% on Rotten Tomatoes, so that's pretty good.  

Hmm, well, there's some stuff that just happened that was a little bit...

Oh, that's... 

Well, now I'm a little bit tense.  

Waaaait, what? 

Ew.  That's... that's just not good.

Ah. 

WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO OH LORD THAT'S OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN DON'T GO IN THERE

Yowza.  

I'm just going to take another break for a moment.  Not that I need a break.  I just feel like now would be a good time to maybe get a snack and perhaps look at some funny cat pictures on Reddit.  Oh, Reddit.com, you certainly are a site for sore eyes. Get it?  Cause it's a website?  It's a site instead of a sight?  

HOLY okay that was just the furnace coming on again.

Ahhahha okay, that was funny.  I mean, that was gross.  Gross and funny.

Home Alone, Continued

Day 5 - Thursday

Today was a pretty good day, all things considered.  I only sent two or three texts to My Lovely Wife begging for pictures, which feels like progress.  Started working with a friend for the first time in over a decade, which is pretty nice.  No car alarms were going off.  

It looks like Netflix removed The West Wing just as I was getting into it.  That saddens me.  I ate leftover sloppy joe's, singing the sloppy joe's song while I prepared them.  Received a text from My Lovely Wife with the lyrics, re-cementing that I picked the right girl.

Two sleeps away from seeing my little girl.  Feels like I have ants in my pants.

She's 5 months old now!

I mean, really, look at this. LOOK AT IT.  So cute.  Ridiculous.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Home Alone

There was a time, not so long ago, when a week home alone would seem... fun.  Not that I want to spend time apart from My Lovely Wife.  I feel much more relaxed when she's with me than not.  So when she proposed that she spend a week with RG at her parents, my first reaction was "sweet".

That lasted for almost as long as it took for the "sw" sound to form in my head.  

My next thought was a week without My Lovely Wife and Daughter?  What was that going to be like?

I agreed to it, because it's good for her to bond with her grandparents and also good for Mommy to have an adult to talk to besides me (because as soon as I get home, I just want to talk to My Lovely Daughter, which involves a lot of stereotypical baby talk).  We set the date far enough in the future that I would give myself enough time to get myself steeled toward that moment when I would say goodbye to both of them.

That date, ladies and gentlemen, was this past Sunday.  The plan was that My Lovely Wife's parents would come down and spend the weekend with us, then leave with my ladies on Sunday.  That plan lasted right up until Friday night when the impending snow storm made us change things around.  Instead, My Lovely Wife's father would drive down on Saturday morning, pick up the ladies, and head back home.

And that's what happened.

I've been keeping a bit of a diary.

Day -0.5: Saturday

Everyone just left.  The house is oddly quiet - it is, in fact, the sound of our house from 5 months ago.  The quiet is oddly familiar, but strange at the same time.

I make lunch and watch Netflix.  Then I watch some stuff on the PVR to make space for the shows that I'll watch with My Lovely Wife when she returns.  I think about making another snack, but the snow hasn't hit us yet so I go grocery shopping instead. This has the added benefit of making me not think about the fact I am alone.

My Lovely Wife calls to let me know they've arrived safe and sound.  The snow hasn't started yet.  I think that they could have postponed leaving for a little while, but that's not really fair.  And better safe than sorry.  I watch some more Netflix and read a book.  I make supper.  I play some video games.  I watch a movie and eat chips.  The chips are way better than the movie, but that may be because I don't eat much junk food.  Or it could also have just not been that great a movie.

I watch Netflix in bed, then do a crossword puzzle.  I am luxuriating in staying up late (it's past ELEVEN!) because nobody in the house has to get up early to feed or change a baby.

Day 1: Sunday

The car alarm across the street wakes me up at around 4 AM. I put a pillow over my head and go back to sleep. 

At 6:30 AM, I get up and look out the window.  It snowed.  A great deal.  I can see the car across the street honking and flashing lights to alert everyone to the danger that it is experiencing.

I call the RCMP.  They say that they can't really do much about it, but they'll send someone to check it out.

I eat breakfast, do some email, read my book.  The alarm goes off and on.  I go on Facebook and talk about it.  I write a poem of sorts and post it here.  I call the RCMP again at 8:30 AM.  They say that the streets aren't plowed and they can't get anyone out there.  I say that it's just weird how it goes off and on like it does.  Almost like someone would if they were trying to signal that they were in trouble.  The RCMP say that they'll send someone out as soon as they can.

I do some laundry.  I run the dishwasher.  I finish my book so I watch some Netflix to the dulcet tones of the car alarm.

I eat another breakfast because it feels like that kind of a day.  

I see an RCMP officer walking around the car across the street.  He checks all the windows in the house.  He talks on his radio and then starts walking across the street. I think that he is going to come talk to me because I called in a complaint, but he keeps walking down the street.  That is when I realize that A) there is no RCMP vehicle in sight, B) the snow in the street is almost up to his knees, and C) he is walking down to the Shediac Road so that he can get picked up.  I feel bad.

I do another load of laundry and reload the dishwasher.

The car alarm finally dies at around 2:30, right around the time that I get a text message from a friend saying that they've been hearing reports about it on her police scanner.  I think the battery must have died, because there was nobody else around.

It is still snowing too much to go outside, but I shovel the porch and walkway just to get outside. 

I talk to My Lovely Wife about 5 times through the day.  I make supper and watch some TV, play a video game for a little while, and do some writing. 

I go to bed early.  

Day 2:  Monday

I at least have the day at work to distract me for most of the day.  I miss my family.  I forgot that it was casual week at work, and got dressed in my regular clothes like a sucker.  I vow to wear casual for the rest of the week.

I eat supper and watch The West Wing.  I started watching it on Sunday and don't know why I never watched it before.  It's a great show.  I think about waiting and watching it with My Lovely Wife, but I need it to keep playing to distract me.

I go to bed early after doing a load of laundry so I would have casual pants to wear tomorrow.

Day 4:  Wednesday

I wake up super happy because I've made it through half the week.  Only a few more days to go before I see My Lovely Wife and Daughter again!  

Breakfast is a cheery affair.  I use up all the blueberries on the last of the Cheerios.  I even woke up early enough that I could watch half an episode of The West Wing before I go to work.  I consider watching it all the way through, but decide to go to work a little early instead. 

On the car ride in, I hear the radio say that it is Tuesday.

Day 4:  Wednesday Day 3:  Tuesday

I am sad. 

The rest of the day is much like Day 2, only it feels like I'm further behind because I thought I was further ahead.  

I do more laundry.  Towels this time.

Day 4:  Wednesday (For real this time)

I used up most of my feeling good about today yesterday, but still, I'm at the halfway mark and I'll be driving up to see everyone on Friday night and that's only two sleeps away!

I ate all the blueberries and Cheerios yesterday so I have toast for breakfast.  

I go out for lunch with people visiting our office from Europe.  They are very interesting and lunch is great.


I buy more blueberries and Cheerios after work.  

I make sloppy joes for supper.  The whole time, I am humming Adam Sandler's "Sloppy Joe's" song.  My Lovely Wife calls while I'm eating and I say "I'm eating sloppy joe's."  She sings Adam Sandler "Sloppy Joe's" song.  This is one of the reasons I love her.  We discuss the weather forecast, and decide that I'll come up on Saturday morning instead.  It means three sleeps before I see them, but at least I won't be driving at night in the rain.

I decide to watch something other than The West Wing, but only get halfway through an episode of Burn Notice before I decide to do some writing.  I retreat to the basement and crank this out.

Now, I guess I'll go back upstairs and watch some West Wing.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

An Ode to the Car Alarm That Has Been Going for Four Hours

Hello, Car Alarm.
I hear you.
We all hear you.
Your voice cries out in the early morning.
Your wailing pierces my dreams.
You are like someone else's child that they do not care about that is crying.
Only, if you were a real child the police would have shown up a long time ago.
Therefore, you are not as important as a child.
So
Shut up, nobody likes you.