Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Superbowl 2018 Sport Prediction!

Eagles VS Patriots (on Vikings home turf)

This one is easy.  Eagles win. Why? 

Patriots are great, they're the best. Bigly. Everyone knows it, I've talked to the best sports people and everyone says it. That was my impression of what goes through my head when people talk about Patriots right now. Basically, I'm saying that it's hard to be a Patriot right now. There's just too much political baggage. What happens if they win? The President has to invite them to the White House. They'll have to go, because Patriotism. But then it's going to be awkward, because you just know you're going to have to get a picture with him. And then he'll make a comment about how happy he is that you won and not the other team which is full of and the whole time you're thinking that your kid heard that and you're going to have some explaining to do when you get home.

Let's not forget the game is on the Viking's home turf. Eagles are proud, soaring birds of prey. While territorial, they don't hold artificial borders like the Patriots. Everything looks basically the same when you're a thousand feet in the air. The Patriots will be awkward and out of sorts. They'll be saying things like "Oh, that's a nice scoreboard, but we have a better one back home" or "I can't believe a hot dog and beer cost $85, that's $5 more than you'd pay back home" or "I don't know how how people live here". Some of them will probably have Canadian flags stitched on their bags, just in case. You never know about foreign places, right?

None of that really makes a difference though. Not when you consider that the Patriots won't have it in them to attack one of the symbols they hold so dear. What can a Patriot do but stand in awe while the very embodiment of freedom blows past them to score a touchdown point? Is a true Patriot going to tackle an Eagle carrying a ball to the touchdown place Big Square Y thing score zone and risk injuring even one single feather?

Honestly, this Superbowl might as well be called the Only Grandchild VS The Grandparents (at Toys R Us).

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