Saturday, May 25, 2013

It Doesn't Happen Often, And When It Does I Don't Usually Understand It

Last night, My Lovely Wife and I watched the near hit movie "The Five-Year Engagement".  I say near hit because it didn't exactly make blockbuster status, but it did make its money back plus some, so it won't garner a sequel (excluding a direct to video knock off starring one of the C-list supporting actors, reprising their role for an unknown reason) but it won't exactly be forgotten.


There is an Asian character in the movie.  His name is Ming.  You may have an idea of where this is going, but stay with me.

Ming is kind of a useless character.  I'm not entirely sure why he's in the movie as everything that he says and/or does could have been done by someone else.  I'm not sure why it was necessary to add a character for comedy relief into a comedy, but I don't make movies I just watch them all the time.  As near as I can figure, he's only in it for the one meta-joke that is never mentioned but is pretty funny when you think about it.  If you haven't seen the movie, I spoil nothing by telling you that the entirety of the Psychology Department at the University of Michigan is so multicultural, there is nobody from Michigan in it.

Oh, and he also doesn't know Kung Fu, which isn't relevant, but I feel the need to point out any time anybody vaguely Asian shows up that doesn't know martial arts.

Mindy Kaling (of The Office fame) is also in this group.  So why do we need Ming the Asian when we already have Mindy?  Mindy and Ming have a sort of semi-rivalry going, which is good for two jokes, but also isn't important.  What is important is what happens during one interaction between the two of them, about 20 minutes before the end.

He says something that I don't remember and couldn't be bothered to rewind to rewatch.

She says "No way, Ming."

That got the biggest laugh out of me of the entire movie, but full disclosure - if it had been said in Schindler's List I would have laughed then too.

It's not like I'm a Doug, or a Bob, or a Jack, or an Ethan, or a Spike, or a Sebastian, or one of hundreds of other names that have been used in a show before.  The closest I've gotten yet was "Cho" on The Mentalist, but I have to share that with all the other Chos.  And yes, I know she only accidentally said it.  But it counts.

While I was still enthusiastic about it this morning, My Lovely Wife had lost a bit of the glow of the event.

"You know," she said, "your name probably gets said a lot in movies in Asia."

"Well, yeah," I replied, "But I don't understand what they're saying so it doesn't count."

Saturday, May 18, 2013

What Could Possibly Have Brought Me Back?

True story: I've been neglecting this place.  No, not just neglecting.  Actively neglecting.

I used to drink a lot of apple juice back in my university days.  And by a lot, I mean I had it at every meal.  Side note: I also had two glasses of milk (one 2% and one chocolate) and ice cream for dessert at every meal for two years before I made the shocking connection between how I felt after eating and lactose... those were a couple of loooong years.

One day, I reached for my glass of apple juice and realized that I didn't just not want it, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with it.  The very thought of all the apple juice that I had drank made me dizzy.  It was years before I could drink it again.

Such was the situation with my online presence. It's not just my blog that I've been neglecting.  I haven't looked at Facebook in months (though I did do one update weeks ago that said something like "Is this thing still on?" or something like that.  I haven't worked my way up to logging back into it yet).  I haven't looked at my email in that long either.  I'm sure it's probably mostly spam anyway, but if you've written to me and I haven't responded it's not because I don't like you.  Though it might be.  So you should maybe do some reflection on that.

But, just like apple juice, I couldn't stay away forever.  I drink the AJ in much saner quantities now, even if it's only because I have to pay for it now.  So I'm back.  I hope you missed me.  I'm sure you did.  I'm sure that when I open up my email, there will be so many messages there from people saying "hey, what happened to you?" and the like.  And if there aren't, it's probably because you thought I was going through something and didn't want to bother me.  Thanks for that.  I appreciate the space.

So what was it that brought me back?

What brings anyone to the internet?  Pictures of cats.

This is one of our cats, Mordecai.

He works hard for the money, so we don't complain too loudly when he takes the occasional nap on the couch.
You may be surprised to hear this, but My Lovely Wife and I are generally covered in cat hair.  We'd been talking about the state of cat hair in our home, trying to identify the source and how it came to be that we are wearing the equivalent of a third of a cat at any time.  After much sleuth work, we narrowed it down to one of two culprits.  Neither of them would buckle under interrogation, so we went with our guts and determined that it was probably this guy.

I took steps yesterday, and this happened.

It's a little fuzzy, but if you look closely you can see our horrible deaths reflected in his eyes.
As we suspected, there was a much smaller cat underneath it all.  I mean, he's still a large cat, but he's not nearly as big as he used to be.

That glint in his eyes is the light that we expect to see at the end of the tunnel.
In all honesty, he does seem to really love it.  Considering it was his first time getting groomed, he was super docile the whole time.  The groomer even put a good note and a smiley face on his card.  I was so proud of him.  He's adapting pretty well to it.  I thought that he was being super snuggly because he loved me so much for helping him out of his fur coat, but it turns out that it has more to do with the fact that it's been a little chilly and he's used to a certain level of warmth.  I'm a cat person, so I'm totally cool with being used as a heat source; it means I'm not just Thing That Puts Out the Food, and I like being useful.

It also catches him by surprise when he cleans himself.  I watched him lick his shoulder twice without making any contact at all.  By the third time he figured out that he needed to lean into it a little more and all was right in the world.

Well, almost all was right in the world.

Our other cat, Callaghan, has never been, how do you say it what's the word I'm looking for how can I say this gently... adaptable.  When I let Mordecai out of the carrier, Callaghan got one look at him and then fled the scene.  Lest you think that he was worried that he'd be next, let me assure you that it was because he didn't recognize the cat that he's lived with for his entire life.

I managed to get this picture just before he ran away and hid in the basement for the rest of the day.
There you have it. Further evidence that cats run the Internet.

Talk to you later.