Monday, June 21, 2010

Are you holding on to your hearts?

Because here comes the delicious.

A long time ago I got an idea.  A crazy, mad, insane delicious sounding idea.  Like many of my ideas, it took me a long time to actually get the gumption to go ahead and do it.  Unlike many of my ideas, I actually followed through and did something.

I present to you, the Breakfast Buffet Hot Dog (name pending something more awesome).

Here's what you'll need:

Breakfast sausage
Bacon
Eggs
Hot dog buns
Maple syrup

In other words, you need all the ingredients that you'd find in a breakfast buffet.

Step 1:  Prepare the Meat

While shopping for groceries on Friday, I decided it had to be done:  I had to make this wild and crazy thing.  It was the perfect time.  We had company arriving to stay for the weekend which meant I would double the size of my taste-testing group. 

With that in mind, when our friends arrived I told everyone what I was planning for the following morning.  In addition to potentially whetting their appetite, it also meant that I really did have to get up and make it - I'd made a commitment and I follow through on my commitments (unless they involve chugging bottles of syrup, which I failed to do in near epic proportions).

It was like it was Christmas or my birthday (which, no matter how old I get or how I might say it doesn't really mean that much to me, I always end up not being able to get to sleep and I always wake up early).  It was 8 am, and it was just me and the cats moving around.

At 8:02 am, I was googling "how to cook a breakfast sausage".  As it turns out, I've only ever cooked breakfast sausages in the oven in honey garlic sauce. I was pretty sure that restaurants fried sausages, or at least that's how they look to me, so I was going to fry these guys.  Thanks to a few of the 896,000 results, I discovered that the best way to fry breakfast sausage is to put them in a frying pan and add heat.  I really think this Internet thing is going to take off.

While the sausage was cooking up, I started cooking the bacon.  No googling required.  I loves me some bacon.  The most difficult part of this entire enterprise was NOT eating the bacon before it was time.  I wanted my appetite to be at maximum, and snacking on bacon while cooking could possibly render my palate non-hospitable to my creation.

As I finished cooking the last of the bacon, I put it all in with the sausages.  This helped me save on space, freed up a frying pan for the all important next-to-last step, and also helped imbue the sausage with the essence of bacon.  At this time, everyone woke up and I found the camera to take a picture.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

This is sausage and bacon.

Step 2:  Egg Loaf

When I made wild and crazy claims about what I wanted to make in the morning, my lovely wife said she would make the eggs.  Seems she learned something when she was a camp leader that she wanted to share with us all: eggs in a bag.

Eggs in a bag are made by cracking eggs into a zip lock bag, then cooking them in hot water.  Seems reasonable.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

And darned if it doesn't work.  I can't tell you anything about how to cook it other than put it in boiling water and keep checking the bag.  When it looks done, it probably is.  They look like this when we emptied the bag.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

May I introduce you to Egg Loaf?  Egg Loaf looked perfect for my plans, but sadly, we had misjudged the sheer volume of eggs we put in.  How many eggs, you may ask, did we put in?  I cannot tell you.  It was less than 12, but maybe around 8, I don't remember. 

From Breakfast Hot Dog

In any case, poking the Egg Loaf showed that we did not cook it long enough.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

So back in the frying pan.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

And then back in the bowl.  This action shot proves that I poured the eggs back into the bowl.  Take that doubters!

Sadly, Egg Loaf was with us no more, but we have fond memories and pictures to prove that we met him.

Step 3:  We begin to turn up the awesome...

This next part is mission critical.  Without this, everything will literally fall apart.

Grab your bag of hot dog buns.  I prefer generic brand hot dog buns that are cheap and I'm willing to screw up because I can't really hurt the taste of them.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Next, prepare eggs as though you were about to make French Toast.  But you're not going to make French Toast.  You're going to make FRENCH FREAKIN' HOT DOG BUNS!

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Dip those bad boys into the egg.  Notice that despite finishing the cooking of the eggs there is still some delicious bacon residue on the pan.  That just adds to the awesome. 

Note to everyone who's never been to our house:  That blue thing is our microwave.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Fry those bad boys up.

Step 4:  Prepare to have your mind BLOWN

This is where it all comes together.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Open up the bun and add egg...

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Add bacon and sausage...

From Breakfast Hot Dog

And you end up with something that looks like kind of a mess.  But that's because we're not done yet.

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Maple syrup.  Only the finest tree juice will do.

Step 5:  Have mind blown

From Breakfast Hot Dog

First bite...

From Breakfast Hot Dog

Darn right.

Cooking the hot dog buns up French Toast style seemed to be the important element here.  The bread by itself probably would have melted under the heat of the filling, not to mention the added sogginess of that much syrup.

The Verdict

It did take me about 2 hours to go from starting prep to first bite, but I was groggy and trying not to wake everyone up with banging pots (I wanted the smell of bacon to do that).

We had a lot of leftovers (I made way more than needed because I didn't know how much filling the buns would need), but the remains of the Egg Loaf were the only waste (reheated eggs? no thank you).

The general consensus was that they were delicious.  Although I have pictures of people enjoying this breakfast delight, I have decided against posting them.  Not because they are an unattractive bunch, but I feel that it is in my interest not to post embarrassing pictures of my friends.  It helps keep the pictures they have of me off the Internet.

Surprisingly, they were not that messy to eat.  I had visions of them falling apart, hence the plate practically under my chin), but spillage was minimal.  They were no problem to eat one handed.

Unsurprisingly, they were very filling.  The guys ate two, more out of excitement than hunger.  We were VERY full after, and settled on one and a half being the perfect serving size. 

The Breakfast Buffet Hot Dog: Every bite is a buffet!

That's a lame slogan, but it's the best I've come up with in two days.

5 comments:

  1. Put your bacon and sausages on a cookie sheet bake at 365 degrees for about 15 mins. Scramble some eggs in a pan. Do your french toast buns . Whole thing 20-25 mins tops . Yummy....It really is good !

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  2. In Scotland these are called Gutbusters. They don't do the buns french toast style, and they use brown sauce or ketchup instead of maple syrup, but otherwise they're pretty much the same.

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  3. Scotland sounds like my kind of country. Except for the haggis part.

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  4. This sounds delicious, my friend.

    To shorten cooking time, try deep-frying your sausage wrapped in bacon. I have eaten this before and survived to tell the tale.

    ML

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  5. Hey, buddy got a place to share this:
    http://thisiswhyyourehuge.com/

    You may find some other works of genius there as well!

    Of course, you look as trim and fit as always, so don't read anything further into my suggestion.

    -DM

    ReplyDelete

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