What do The Twilight Zone and My First Job Have in Common?

Nothing, except I'm writing about both here.

At the place that I work, there is place that we lovingly refer to as "The Twilight Zone".  The inhabitants of this space are all ladies, with the exception of one poor guy.  Can you guess why we call it the Twilight Zone?

Quote from today: "It's hot like Jacob out there."  I can't make this stuff up.

It's a little creepy.

No, wait.  It's a lot creepy.

I refer you to the following.

It's true, you know.  The only place that guys can get away with this kind of behavior is Japan.  And man, you don't even want to know what that's all about.  Japan is one messed up kind of place.  I have a theory that all trends in pornography start in Japan.  I'm willing to bet that Rule 34 got started in Japan.  Just when you think you got a handle on what the kids are up to these days, Japan comes out with a new Playstation.  And something to do with squid.  Seriously, you don't want to know.

But getting back to Twilight.  What is up with that?  I tried reading the first book.  I watched the first movie.  My soul cried a little when I realized that an entire generation of people will grow up with this as their first exposure to vampires and werewolves.  I'm not against it or anything... Like Kevin Smith said, those young girls will grow up to be adult women at some point and they'll already be predisposed to geekdom by these books.  Still, I weep.

We had a short discussion today about what it would be like if we decided to start talking about Hannah Montana in the same way that the Twilight Zone talks about Twilight. Best comment: "I'm so over the Olsen Twins since they got old."

Aren't we all, though?  Aren't we all.

Anyway, none of this is in any way related to what I originally sat down to write about.  I wanted to talk about my first summer job.

I am not counting mowing lawns here, because while that was a job that I did in the summer, it was more of a chore that I got paid for.  It did teach me one thing, and that is that I will never be one for hard labor.  Fear of being in a prison work crew is what has kept me out of trouble.  That and my singing voice just isn't right for those songs you always hear them singing.

No, my first summer job was as a tour guide at a museum in St. Andrews, NB.  "Ooh! St. Andrews-by-the-Sea!" I hear you saying.  "That must have been lovely!"  Yeah, I was 18 and I'm from St. Stephen.  Everyone in St. Stephen knows that all St. Andrews is good for is keeping the tourist dollars coming through.  Plus, because I was still living in St. Stephen, I had to commute every morning to work.  That may also have done something to teach me a lesson about how much I hate commuting.

I also don't want to hear any "Oh, but all the girls..." speeches either.  Yes, there were lots of hot ladies there in the summer.  No, they did not come to the museum.  But when they did, you better believe I made sure I was right there to help them out in any way possible.  Both times it happened.

In my capacity as a tour guide, I got to walk people through the museum and answer any questions they may have. To accomplish this amazing feat, I was given a one or two page history that I had to memorize, and I got the walk through several times by my co-workers. 

It wasn't until my second week there that I realized that I was as much a security guard as I was a tour guide.  If there were people in the building, someone had to be with them.  We couldn't have them running around getting into who knows what kind of trouble.  Whether you wanted the tour or not did not in any way prevent me from being part of the scenery for the duration of your visit.  Either you were going to follow me, or I you.

It was not my favorite job that I've had in my life, but I do have fond memories.  I liked my co-workers, and being the only male employee had some benefits.  I got to strut my manly stuff whenever a box needed moving.  That further emphasized the lesson that I should find something not so...physical to do for a living.

Biggest lesson I learned: never work anywhere in the summer that doesn't have air conditioning. 

I don't really have any dirt to spill about my time there.  As it turns out, this story was not nearly as entertaining as I had anticipated it would be.  For a much funnier first job story, check out Melissa's blog I Smile at Stuff.  In retrospect, this whole post has just been one big commercial pushing you toward her blog.  So, go on then.  There clearly isn't anything very funny going on here right now.

Maybe we'll mess with the Twilight Zone tomorrow and I'll post how it goes.


  1. "Hot a Jacob" oh god there is something wrong with the world. *shudder*

  2. Oh thank you for posting the link to that blog. She is so funny!! I think I may have a girl crush.


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