You are a terrible movie made worse somehow by your innate ability to also give me a migraine.
Seriously, I got a migraine. I don't get migraines, but watching this movie made my brain hurt more and more with every passing moment. Then, when you thought it couldn't get worse...well, it didn't get worse, it just got LOOOOOONG.
This movie is almost 2 hours long. Now, if this was something like Shawshank Redemption, or perhaps a Wes Anderson movie (while I don't gush over everything he does, he does make a movie that really warps time for me), then I can appreciate the extra minutes of getting to really know and explore the characters and the story from different angles. This is a 30 minute episode of the Twilight Zone, and not one of the good ones, extended unnecessarily to a point where my brain saved my soul by deciding it'd had enough of that thank you very much, go to bed right now and sleep for 9 hours and maybe don't try this again.
I recommend this movie to people I do not like.