Sunday, February 27, 2011

Ping-Pong Playa

I am the Ping-Pong Playa.  I say that because I can't think of what would go with Table Tennis. Table Tennis Teammate doesn't work, cause it's only me.  Trainer?  Ah well, someone already thought of Playa, and if it's good enough for a terrible movie, it's good enough for my terrible skills.

I've been playing Sports Champions on the PS3, and I kind of got just a little addicted to the Table Tennis.  When I first tried it after Christmas, I hated it.  It was unplayable.  It was stupid.  It was all the things that Beeej would say it was back in the day (Beeej is a friend that had some...interesting ways of dealing with games that he had trouble with)..  I don't know what made me try it again.  Maybe it was because a few weeks earlier Scott had shown it was possible to not just play it, but even beat the first championship.

I put it in, played it, and quickly turned it off.  No wait, did I say quickly?  What I meant to say was "two hours later".  The next morning, I paid for it.  Holy moly, did I pay for it.  My muscles decided to show me exactly how badly I'd abused my body the night before.  Or, more accurately, how badly I'd abused my body for the last, say, decade.

Okay, two decades.

But the next day, I was back at it - with some stretches thrown in for good measure (For everyone in the office:  Clap! Clap!).  And you know what?  It was pretty awesome.  I've played it every day now for at least an hour, sometimes even before going to work.  I played it so much, that I've had to recharge the controller twice now.  Can you believe that I'm doing something physical BY CHOICE in the morning?  I'm not ashamed to admit that one of the reasons why I quit the school basketball team back in Grade 8 was because of the requirement to wake up really early to be at the gym and exercise in the morning.  I just didn't want any part of that scene - sleep was way more important to me.  (The other reason was, as you may have already guessed, I was really quite embarrassingly bad.)

I have no doubts that my skills at playing Ping-Pong on the PS3 will somehow magically transfer themselves into some awesome real life applications.  Like a whole "Wax on, wax off" thing, I'm sure I'll be unbeatable if I get attacked by someone with maybe a mace.  Also, they'll either have to be a child or in a wheelchair (or both, I'm not prejudiced) in order to ensure that their reach is the same height as I'm used to playing at.  And the mace must be made of Nerf.

The reason I'm writing about this is because I'd recently had some health issues.  Yay, I'm old!  Now, I'm not about to go all crazy and start documenting my bowel movements here, but I something was not quite right in the world.  That prompted me to get some tests done and low and behold, I've got high cholesterol.  That was not really surprising.  I knew I had high cholesterol last year.  And the year before that.  My doctor gave me information on improving my diet and how exercise is important to controlling cholesterol.  He said that if it didn't work, then he'd have to put me on medication.

Turns out that diet and exercise don't work if you don't.  So I've got pills now for that. 

But that wasn't all!  I also had REALLY low vitamin D - like, almost half of the minimum amount needed to be practically healthy.  As it turns out, spending my life in basements watching movies and playing video games may have contributed somewhat to my lacking this essential vitamin that comes from the sun.  Curse you sun, and your life giving vitamins.  So I've got a pill for that now too.

Which brings me back to Ping-Pong.  I'm trying to move a little more and sit on my butt a little less.  Sure, it's not great exercise, but I have to believe that moving around for an hour or two is better than leaning back and stuffing Cheetos in my maw.  (Please note that was MAW, with a W at the end.)  Perhaps it won't make me healthier, but it just might slow down my degeneration, right?  Right? 

Okay, I admit that I'm just looking forward to being able to say something to the effect of "Video games saved my life!"

Also, I lied earlier.  I had a really good poop yesterday.

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