Sunday, March 13, 2011

How the mighty have fallen...

While browsing through Netflix the other day, we discovered this little gem of a made for TV movie called "Mammoth".  Here's how it's described:
A defrosted 40,000-year-old woolly mammoth goes on a rampage after a meteor smashes into a town museum and revives the prehistoric creature. Federal agents must team up with museum curator Frank Abernathy (Vincent Ventresca) in an effort to control the beast. With his B-movie aficionado father (Tom Skerritt) pitching in, Abernathy must act fast in order to save the town. Summer Glau co-stars in this action-packed sci-fi adventure.
The most confusing part of this paragraph is trying to figure out why there are more sentences after that first one.  That first sentence just packs it in.  It tells you that the exciting part of this movie isn't discovering a woolly mammoth, it's not bringing the mammoth from a dig site to a town museum, it's not even the meteor strike.  It's that the mammoth comes to life and goes on a rampage.  Rampaging is something that you just sort of generally expect mammoths to do when brought back to life in a strange and unpredictable future.

Who honestly cares about the federal agents, or the team up that happens between them and the museum curator?  Why is the curator even involved?  Why does anyone care about his father?  We'll just have to watch the movie and find out.

Of course, it doesn't really sound like a good movie.  Even the addition of Summer Glau as a co-star really isn't enough to make me want to watch it.  It's the kind of thing that I'd pick up on video on a Friday night when me and the rest of my dateless friends (i.e. all of them) would gather to eat chips and lose ourselves in questionable science, poorly done special effects, and plenty of boob jobs.  I don't watch that kind of thing anymore, because I feel that as I get older I have less and less life available to me to waste on this kind of programming.  Netflix tells me that based on the things I've rated and viewed, this scores 2.5 stars out of a possible 5, so of course it's going to be terrible.

That's one way of looking at it anyway.

Another way of looking at it is that this movie could be amazing.

Right next to it on Netflix is the 2008 remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still".  I saw that movie.  It wasn't that good.  It was okay, but it wasn't good.  You probably saw it too.  It had some good effects, and didn't make me outright angry for having watched it, so it had that going for it.

Netflix gives it a 2.4 for me.

I've reviewed hundreds of movies on Netflix to help get the best profile possible.  Netflix algorithms have determined that I'll enjoy "Mammoth" that much more than "The Day the Earth Stood Still".

"The Happening" got a 1.9. I haven't seen it yet, but I think I'll watch it before I watch "Mammoth".  That way I'll have something to look forward to.

1 comment:

  1. Dude...if I had a copy of "Mammoth" I'd totally watch it before "The Happening".

    Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete

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