I didn't think I'd resort to this, but-

Enough with the snow already.  We get it.  Global warming is real.  Please stop punishing us with the snow.

Another 15 cm today and tonight.  Then it's supposed to snow pretty much every. Single.  Day. Right through the weekend.  When, oh, surprise, another snow storm.

Good thing we have a snowblower, right?  Except it's not working.  The blades stopped turning, which means that it's effectively a very expensive NTV (that's a No-Terrain Vehicle).  On the other hand, it was BITTERLY cold the day that it stopped working, so maybe it is working now.  The problem is that even if I dragged my sorry butt out to the baby barn (which is 4-6 foot snow drifts the entire way), AND then found somewhere to throw the snow that has accumulated in front of the doors enough to open them, I'd have to wait until spring to find out if it's working again.

See, the ground seized up due to the cold and the ramp that goes into my baby barn has now lifted to the point where it blocks the doors from being opened.   The easy solution would be to detach the ramp from the barn, right?  Except we used a lot of screws attaching that sucker to the barn, and I'll be darned if I can remember where they all are.  Plus, to power my drill I'd have to buy a $50 outdoor extension cord because the distance between the outlet on the house (assuming it's still under that snow) is now much further than it was a few months ago - I have to go up and over now. 

Assuming I could get the snowblower out now, I'd still have HOURS of clearing to do just to get from the baby barn to the front of the house.  Not the street.  The front of the house.  That would be due to the 4-6 foot drift caused by the way the wind blows around our house. 

Next year, I'm selling the snowblower and we're hiring someone to clear the driveway.  I figure we've saved enough since we got here that I can afford to pay someone else to do it from now on.  I'll happily shovel the walk.  I'll shovel around the car. But I'm not shoveling the driveway anymore.  The snowbanks are higher than I am.  I'm throwing snow that is just flying right back into my face thanks to the turbo wind tunnel effect of our street.

I'm tired and I'm cranky and I'm finished shoveling.  For tonight anyway.  More shoveling in the morning.  For the love of Pete, please, stop snowing for a little while.  Just let some of this melt.

I'd be up for a vacation in a tropical paradise right about now, but all I'd be thinking about is the fact we'd have to dig our way from the street to the house when we get back.

In summary and in conclusion: Snow, I am sooooooo done with you right about now.


  1. I think it's safe to assume that the snowblower works now (otherwise you probably would have tore down your Kijiji ad and gone into hiding from the internet). I guess its really the principle of seeing something that pissed you off get its just deserts without a chance of redemption. Also having someone do it for you is nice. I guess in retrospect, what you thought was a curse turned into something awesome (170k hits worth of viral gold on Kijiji as of writing).

    Hopefully, this global warming thing gets taken care of before we all have to get flamethrowers just to clear the snow from the step.

  2. Well that's not gonna sell the snowblower.


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