Monday, March 26, 2012

Have You Ever Wanted To Do This?

I fantasize about this pretty well every time I'm behind the wheel.  And that's sad.


I'm referring to the first half of the video.  The second half also makes me laugh, but isn't necessarily the point of this post.

If you did a random sample of 100 people, asking each of them whether it was okay to throw trash out of a car, I'm willing to bet that you would find that 104% of responses would be "no".  The extra 4% would come from the 4 passers by that overheard the question and decided to jump in on the action after you had already obtained your required 100 interviewees (you can't really include them in the sample size, but it would be rude not to at least acknowledge them).

Out of those 100 people, you would probably find a few that are just paying lip service to it.  These will be the same ones that will shout "It's biodegradable!" when they spit their gum on the ground.  I would be surprised if you encountered anyone that would say "Hell yeah, how else am I gonna get rid of ma trash?"

BUT...

If you really want to watch people squirm, ask a smoker if it's okay to throw their cigarette butts out of a car window.  OoooOOOooOOH SNAP!  I bet I hit a nerve there with some of you, didn't I?  You know who you are.

"Oh, sure, I smoke when I drive, but I never throw my butts out the window.  That's littering and that's wrong."

Really?  Let me see your ash tray.  When was the last time that you got into a car - any car - driven by a smoker that had anything other than spare change in the ash tray?

When I'm sitting behind a smoker at a red light and I see them toss a butt on the street, I dream about jumping out and taping it to the side of their car with industrial packing tape.  Of course, in that dream I'm also always a lot bigger than the person doing the littering and traffic always stops long enough to accomplish this safely and they learn the error of their ways and turn their life around.  During the time it takes to have my dream, the light has changed to green and it would be suicide to get out of the car.

Before I drive away all my smoking fans (get it? Drive away?  Meh, it was funnier when I made it up), I'm not suggesting that smokers are the worst people in the world.  Some of my best friends are smokers.*  And I'm not saying that all smokers litter.  But my observations are thus: smokers in general are far more likely to litter than non-smokers.

I'm sure they aren't doing it maliciously ("Take that Mother Earth!  That'll teach you for being all nature-y and junk!"), but face it: non-smokers don't find themselves holding a tiny smouldering disgusting smelling bit of trash on a regular basis.  If I did, I know I would be looking for the easiest place to dispose of it safely that I could find.  And the ground is just so darn convenient and (usually) non-flammable.

And, of course, the rain will wash away the evidence, right?

Smokers, you've got a tough life.  Smoking ain't cheap (at least it isn't here from what I understand), and you get all those crazy side effects that come with it.  On the upside, you do tend to take more breaks at work than non-smokers.  Come on, admit it, you do.  There's no shame in that.  In fact, when I see you huddling together for some semblance of warmth and comfort in -35 degree weather, trying to light your cigarette with a lighter that keeps going out because you're standing outside in a hailstorm/blizzard/hurricane, I can't help but admire your sense of community.  Good on you.

All kidding aside, I know smoking is an addiction and there's nothing funny about addiction.  But can you at least not make the world a worse place for it?  I think that you need to take a look at yourself and your behaviour before you start judging me for leaving syringes and crack pipes in playgrounds.

Have a great Monday commute!  I'm watching...

*Until they die horribly painful deaths, at which point they become lessons to our future children.  Cheery, yes?

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