Locked out

Nothing puts your life into perspective like getting locked out of your home.
Oh, I'm sure some would argue that there are bigger things to worry about. Like our friends who are interested the middle of giving birth to their first child. They probably have a slightly different perspective on my current situation. Something akin to "ha ha" , "who cares", "why are you texting us this now", and "we don't care we are having a baby right now and are very selfish and uncaring about our friends".
In other words, my friends are jerks.
But they do put up with me on a regular and personal basis, so I have to cut them some slack.
To recap, I'm still locked out of the house.
My neighbor is walking his dog. I would say hi, but that would take me away from you my precious precious readers. There are only about five of you now, and I need to make sure that you know everything I'm going through.
Thank god I decided to use the bathroom before going out. The nachos we had for supper are starting to talk to me though. At least there's a pleasant breeze to carry away the... Never mind.
Still on my porch. My Lovely Wife is still at the mall. Getting a little cramped in this position. Better move around a little.
I wish I had the remote. I can see my tv. I wish that app I downloaded to use my phone as a remote had worked. But it didn't. So there's that. Or not, I suppose.
The cats are looking at me funny. As though to say "just claw at the door and cry until someone lets you in dummy." I hate my cats sometimes. So smug. With their eyes and fur and scratchy tongues and their insidedness.
No word from friends having baby, but I'm keeping everyone in the loop with this post. Who's the bigger jerk?
Yay! Robyn's home! Hope she lets me in... And good luck to my imminently expecting friends. ;-)

Edit: 10:31 PM - Welcome to Baby Colquhoun!