Like most people, I have thoughts.
I know that sounds obvious, but when was the last time that you thought about the fact that practically everyone around you is thinking about something?
At four in the morning, I had another one of my "hey, you know what would have been awesome? If you had maybe paid a little more attention to your personal hygiene and grooming in middle school and high school." That, of course, sent me on a downward spiral. Now all I can think of are the "wow, did you really say that to someone that time at that party?" and "maybe if you cleaned your dorm room a little more often it wouldn't have smelled quite so much like farts and Magic: The Gathering cards."
Nothing else to do about it but get up and tell you all about it.
When I was a kid, my mom gave me a string of plastic beads that she called my "worry beads". When I started getting anxious, I was supposed to get them out and, you know, just kind of feel them and meditate on what was good and all. I think I still have them. I'm pretty sure she gave them to me because I was driving them nuts with my pre-pubescent anxiety attacks on my place in the world. And also because it was what could be described as one ugly-ass necklace, so hey, two birds one stone, right?
I've since graduated to other modes of grounding myself, almost none of which include fashion accessories. It works for me, but I gotta catch it when it starts or I lose any chance at productivity or relaxation. Like this morning. If I'd just gotten up when it started, I might have been able to pull off another hour of sleep.
In case you're wondering, my room no longer smells like farts and Magic: The Gathering cards. I haven't played M:TG in years.
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