What Would Be Your Epitaph?

I was surfing Reddit and one of the conversations that popped up was the following:

Reddit, you just died. The epitaph on your tombstone is the last words you said aloud. What are they?

So yes, it's a little depressing, but there is some gold in there too.  It doesn't have a huge number of responses yet, but here are a few of my favorites:

In the You Had It Coming Category...
"What are you going to do, shoot me?" -vball23
"Are you feeling lucky punk?"  -TY4788
"Does he still work here?" -sirlongfoot
"Well, honey your feet... they ain't as pretty as you think." -machinekillsfascists

In the Innocent Bystander Category...
"Fine, I'll have the milk." -bonnielassie
"No, it's not my natural hair color." -rawrheppe
"I'm gonna go watch Forrest Gump." -elwray1989
"Yeah, cheese fries." -friedricekid

In the They Were Probably High When It Happened Category...
"Am I doin' the moonwalk?" -xWeasel
"Where's my Dunkin' Donuts. I thought that I was sexual, not fat." -SEXUAL_OSTRICH
"It sounds like your ray gun could use more farts." -munkeybutt

I could go on and on.  I actually did, but then I went back and cut out all the ones with swearing and stuff.  There could be kids reading this or something, and I'd hate to be responsible for introducing swears to small children.  That's what school is for.

My epitaph kind of fits in all three of the above categories, depending on the situation:

"The eggrolls are ready, but the pizza isn't."

Now I just have to ensure that I live long enough to have "Is my eggroll ready yet?" carved on the monument to My Lovely Wife...

So what's on your tombstone folks?


  1. "I gotta lay off the chicken pot pie"

    What a shame.

    1. I think the next question should be: How did the chicken pot pie kill you? Be creative.


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