Sunday, December 6, 2020

Profile Picture

I originally started this blog as a joke about predicting the outcome of sports games while not knowing anything about sports.

I never thought, of all the things that I'd predicted, that my profile picture would be the one that hit closest to truth.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Cop Dream/Nightmare

I had a dream I was a new police detective.  I was assigned to a more experienced partner who was going to show me the ropes.

We go to a suspected criminals home, don't remember what he was supposed to have done, but we were there to check on him. His car is in the driveway and we approach it from either side. 

I look in through the passenger side window and don't see anything out of the ordinary. Then I hear the sound of the drivers door opening and look up to see what my partner is doing.

I see my partner and realize I'm in trouble. My partner is Michael Shannon.  I am probably going to die unpleasantly soon.

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Covidiots of FB

Here's one I've been seeing around FB.  Rather than type it out every time I see it, I'm just going to do it once and link to it when I need to!  Feel free to link to it if you'd like.


Copied from a friend’s FB page!
🤷‍♂️🙄😳🤪 covidiots . . .
Me AT RESTAURANT:
Hostess: ok, I can seat you at this table right here (4 feet away), but I will need you to wear a mask to the table.
Me: what happens when I get to the table?
Hostess: you can take off the mask.
Me: then it is safe over there?
Hostess: yes.
Me: are those fans blowing above the table? Is that the air-conditioning I feel? Is the air circulating in here?
Hostess: no words. Confused look.🤷‍♂️🙄😳

What you think you did: proved the safety measures put in place make no sense and triggered someone to start thinking for themselves.

What you actually did: proved to the employee who has no choice but to follow the rules that have been put in place because her paycheck depends on it that you're going to be one of those tables. Do you really think that she doesn't know that the air circulation in the closed environment is likely going to cause an outbreak? Of course she does. She's in that environment every day. And guess which person she is now concerned is going to cause that outbreak? Yep, the person who is vocally questioning the rules.

Her reaction isn't confusion. It's "If it wasn't for my kid I have to support, I'd give this person hell and quit right now." 

Also, if you've ever considered that being rude to the people who literally handle your food is a good idea, you should watch the movie Waiting.  

Back to the post:


Me AT GROCERY STORE:
Why is there plastic on the payment keypad?
Cashier: to protect people from Covid.
Me : but isn’t everyone touching the plastic keypad the same way they would the regular keypad?
Cashier: no words. Confused look.
Me : Why Don't you pack the grocery bags anymore?
Cashier : Because of covid 19 to reduce the spread of catching or spreading the virus.
Me : But a shelf packer took it out of a box and put on the shelf, a few customers might of picked it up and put back deciding they Don't want it, I put it in my trolley then on the conveyer belt, YOU pick it up to scan it.. But putting it in a bag after you scan is risky??
Cashier : no words, confused look 🤷‍♂️🙄🤪

What you think you did: proved to the Cashier that they are being foolish believing that any of these things are going to protect anyone.

What you actually did: proved to the Cashier that you are clueless and self-centered. 

Here's a fun experiment! You'll need two things: your laptop and a big bottle of spray disinfectant.

  1. Spray your laptop with the disinfectant. Really get it in there, concentrate on the keyboard but don't forget the screen. Even if you don't believe that covid is real, your actual job depends on you spraying the living crap out of that laptop. 
  2. Wipe the keyboard and screen. Don't worry if this accidentally triggers an error message or reboots your laptop, just keep going.
  3. Do this every 5 minutes for 18 hours.
  4. After 18 hours, does your laptop still work? It does?  Okay, now repeat these steps for the next 6 months straight, do not stop. 
  5. Imagine if there was only some way to prevent all that spraying and wiping from interfering with the sensitive electronics, like some sort of protective plastic cover.
That's the clueless part. 

Do you really think that the Cashier, who does this for a living, isn't aware of the number of touchpoints every product they have to handle has gone through?  Do you think they aren't aware of every single person in that supply chain?  That's not a confused look they're giving you. That's them hoping that you aren't any part of the supply chain, and that you haven't been picking up and putting down products all through the store.

They have to have faith in the supply chain and in customers not handling the products.  And they can touch each product once. When you do get to a store that bags, watch them. Count how many times they have to touch each product vs your bag. Your bag wins every time, and every time they touch the bag, they increase the possibility that they are transferring Covid to you.

Do you know why some stores won't allow their cashiers to put things in the reusbags you bring? It's not to prevent you from getting Covid from them.  It's to prevent THEM from getting Covid from YOU.  Yes, you.  So thanks for pointing out to them that their lives are meaningless.

Back to the post:


Me AT DRIVE-THRU
Server: (holds a tray out the window with a bag of food for logical friend to grab)
Me: why is my bag of food on a tray?
Server: so I don’t touch your food because of Covid.
Me: didn’t the cook touch my food? Didn’t the person wrapping my food touch it and then touch it again when placing it in my bag? Didn’t you touch the bag and put it on the tray? Didn’t you touch the tray?
Server: no words. Confused look.🤷‍♂️🙄🤪

What you think you did: showed that drive-thru person who's the boss.

What you actually did: showed that drive-thru person that you have no idea how food safety works, nor the fact that these rules pre-existed Covid.

Yeah, the person who made and handles your food may have touched it.  Guess what they have to wear on their hands?  Gloves.  Guess what they have to constantly do?  Wash their hands.  Guess what they have to do?  Limit the number of times your food is physically touched by skin.  

They are trying to save you from the possibility that someone in their establishment has caught Covid and is passing it on. 

Back to the show:


ME AT COSTCO
Society; you must sanitize your hands and wear a mask or a face shield
Me; I always sanitize my hands, but if we are all wearing masks, and they protect us from the virus why are the numbers increasing?
Society; because people are not conforming.
Me; according to Hinshaw, 97% are complying so you are going to tell me the 3% who are not, it’s their fault? Wouldn’t that mean that your mask is broke?
Society; no words confused look🤷‍♂️🙄🤪

What you think you did: COSTCO? More like SHEEPLECO, right?

What you actually did: Proven that you are unaware of how protective and safety measures work.

People are dying in car accidents every day, therefore seat belts, air bags, speed limits and laws on how we drive vehicles are meaningless. 

Condoms prevent 98% of unwanted pregnancy and the spread of STD's. So might as well stop stop using those because 2% of the time they may not work.

Facemasks, shields and hand sanitizers are all way that we can help prevent the spread of the disease. But even with those measures in place, is it possible that someone could still spread it?  Sure. Just like everything else, there's a chance. But I bet if you ever find yourself in a situation where a car runs a red and hits you, you will probably wish that you had all that fancy schmancy safety equipment.

And, then:


Me in SOCIETY
Society ; If you cough or sneeze do it in your elbow or sleeve,
Also society : Don't shake hands or hug anyone or you will spread the virus..
To greet people do an elbow tap instead.
Me : Elbow tap ? Isn't that where you tell people to sneeze or cough? into their elbow? Now you want people to tap each other with that elbow wouldn't it be safer to sneeze into elbow and shake hands like we did before Covid
SOCIETY : You are not allowed to stand and drink at the pub or pokies you have to sit down.
But at the shopping centre you are not allowed to sit down, all the chairs are roped off.

What you think you did: proven that you are the last free thinking person who can use logic.

What you actually did: proven that you are totally unaware of how society, and the world, work.

First, that "vampire sneeze" came into effect years ago.  Waaaay before Covid. 

The elbow tap?  That was at the start of the pandemic. Nobody is telling anyone to use the elbow tap anymore. Everybody is doing the "don't touch anyone, and if you could touch somebody you are too close" rule now.

Why? So many reasons.  

Our knowledge of how things work change.  Remember when time was measured by the sun?  We have atomic clocks now.  Remember when we all thought it was okay to have unprotected sexual relations with multiple people?  Remember when there was a very high probability that the mother and the baby would both die during childbirth because doctors didn't believe in washing their hands?

But also because people are resistant to change, especially behavioral changes. If you think they aren't, just watch the next time that a new stop sign or traffic light is installed. It takes weeks for people to start noticing that they can't just blow through those intersections.

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO BARS RIGHT NOW? You know how many lives are ruined because of bad decisions made by drunk people in public, and you want to add Covid to that? You know why you have to stay seated in bars?  Because drunk ass people can't be trusted not to move around.  And the more you move around, and yes, I'm talking about your drunk ass in particular, the more you are exposing yourself to the very real possibility that you're going to catch and/or spread this disease. 

You know why you can't sit in stores?  Because stores don't want to pay for disinfecting that seat every time you leave it. Small businesses are already crumbling because everyone is buying from Amazon.  You think they can afford to have someone disinfect a chair every time you move? Because that's what they'd have to do to stay open. Why do you hate small business?  

Finally:


Who thinks this shit up?
Life is hard for logical people right now. We are being raised without the ability to process and execute logic
Common sense is not very common

You.  You who are spreading this garbage and thinking that you've proven everyone is overreacting and people are silly for doing these things.  You are thinking this shit up and you should be ashamed.

And so should you for spreading this. You are not thinking logically. You are thinking narrowly. 

Notice that none of the people in the examples given in this post are people who are involved with the decision making process. In fact, all of them are probably making minimum wage and hating it. Do you think that everyone trying their best to follow and keep up with the rules loves it? I have never woken up on a Monday morning and thought "Boy oh boy! I can't wait to go through the guidelines again and hope that my 7-year-old daughter is going to be safe all day!  I sure hope that there's something new to do!"

But I would one million percent do this every day if it means that my friends and family are still going to be healthy and alive next week, next month, and next year.